definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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