you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
