i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize