is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
