ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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