I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
