if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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