piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
