the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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