I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
