With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
