dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
