1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
The struggles of a small town man whore
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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