It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
