yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
