just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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