she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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