Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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