At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
