Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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