The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
