i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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