therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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