Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
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