did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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