I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
