I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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