VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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