I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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