cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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