WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Mom said you looked used
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
