His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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