yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
