i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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