at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
