You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize