where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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