Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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