he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
