Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
