I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize