At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
