He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
