Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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