am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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