if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize
