remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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