sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
