See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
