I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
