it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
