you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
bring money and cleavage
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
