That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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