question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
