I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Buhtt sex?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
