member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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