Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
