If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
