You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize